After writing my last blog post I realized an interesting meaning to the saying Ignorance is Bliss.  When you do a project like this, your bad though habits get heightened to a bothersome degree.  The film is a process peace, it is supposed to be poetic, and it unfolds in the making.  But just by habit, you are constantly overthinking it.  And on top if it you have made a bold financial move, you are constantly getting in debt the more you work on the film.  You are scared and your mind is continuously revising plans for fundraising and wishing you really had a manager to take care of that. But at the end there is just you, no one else to blame, no one else to trust.

When I started this project, I though this is exactly what I want to be doing.  My media philosophy and thoughts about art in action! A dream come true.  Pure Bliss!

If you have really gone for your dreams you might know that in reality this is one of the most significant challenges you will have to face.  There are ups and downs and you get pushed past a degree that you have ever been pushed before, physically, mentally and spiritually. It is an uncharted territory that you have only a mental picture of, which almost never fits the coordinates of the real map.

Where you though there will be highways with proud supporters cheering on as you run to your dreams, there are small paths with no real coordinates, but your own sense of direction and self reliance.  There is no on else to point you the way, but your own inner compass.  If you are enlightened, this might be a piece of cake.  When you are just a normal person carrying a package of fears topped with self doubt you are attacked by a swarm of thoughts and doubts every other minute, your own sense of direction gets off skew.  And you get lost going in circles in the darkest deepest forest of your inner world of fears.

How do you get out?  Persistance is everything, but in an inner struggle you run the risk of persistantly going in circles and completely drainning yourself and loosing faith. It is not like real geography where you can remore yourself from a place, it is something that follows you everywhere.  You know there is other reality just around the corner, but the more you try to reach for that saner world, the more you seem to sink down into the dark place where you do not want to be.  This is where a differnt approac comes in.  You cannot fight it or control it but only ignore it.  That is why I think that IGNORANCE IS BLISS.  Maybe some Zen master somewhere thought this up and we have only understood it in the sense of acquiring knowledge.  This is enlightened kind of ignorance.  You are actually very aware of these thoughs and patterns but the only way to rob them from their power over you, is to ignore them.   Fighting just doesn’t work.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008 at 7:39 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.