Love is Listening
I think when you relate from love to another person or nature the action that takes place is listening rather then telling.
What I often do, is have my preconceived notions of how something is and when I relate to it, I impose those notions on our interaction. I think relating through love is an act of listening. Instead of coming from a place of “I know”, coming from a place of “I would like to hear”, “I would like to learn” ” I will work with what is there, and respond to that”.
I think relating to the natural environment or another person through love is an act of listening to the inherent nature in everything and acting as a steward to help that nature express. I guess part of that stewardship is admitting that you don’t know all the answers and sometimes the inherent nature of something might not make sense to you. It is a humble position where both sides a constantly learning through their interaction, a process, a sort of dance.
Through the journey of making Green Dream I have often found that people in the documentary industry give me critique and advise on a film I am not making. There are certain preconceived notions of what are documentaries and how they are made. So very few people give me a critique where they listen trying to understand what I am doing and then responding to that. Instead I often get told how a film is made and what is the formula and structure I am supposed to follow. It is experience that leaves me and the other person frustrated.
It is the same with relationships of any kind, between kids and parents, romantic partners, friends, teachers and students, colleagues. Our role in each relationship isn’t to tell but to listen to what already is there and work with that, play with it, respond in a way that helps the inherent nature within everything and everyone flourish and fully manifest.
I though I would share this article on effective listening.
Effective Listening
http://www.drnadig.com/listening.htm
“We were given two ears but only one mouth, because listening is twice as hard as talking.”
There is a real distinction between merely hearing the words and really listening for the message. When we listen effectively we understand what the person is thinking and/or feeling from the other person’s own perspective. It is as if we were standing in the other person’s shoes, seeing through his/her eyes and listening through the person’s ears. Our own viewpoint may be different and we may not necessarily agree with the person, but as we listen, we understand from the other’s perspective. To listen effectively, we must be actively involved in the communication process, and not just listening passively.
We all act and respond on the basis of our understanding, and too often there is a misunderstanding that neither of us is aware of. With active listening, if a misunderstanding has occurred, it will be known immediately, and the communication can be clarified before any further misunderstanding occurs.